According to Moonalice legend, there is no business like show business ... and no salt like the salt in the Great Salt Lake. We know this because our tribe had real problems with salt until a tribal matriarch came to the rescue. Her name was LDS Moonalice and nobody knew her as Nancy. Instead, she was known as Deseret. As depicted in tonight's poster by Alexandra Fischer, Deseret was the Moonalice tribal elder who solved The Great Cannabis Conundrum. The men of the tribe spent years trying to grow weed with salt water. You can imagine how well that worked. The guys couldn't figure it out, so eventually they turned to a woman ... and the next day Deseret brought in a supply from Colorado.

The first time we tried to play a gig in Utah -- in Arches National Park -- the show got cancelled because of a sand storm. We kid you not. On the morning of the show, we were at our motel, just outside the park, when someone noticed something very unusual in the distance. It turned out to be a giant wall of sand, just like in the movie, The Mummy. The festival organizers shut everything down and got all the gear out before the sand got there and blew the place away. Pure Spinal Tap.