According to Moonalice legend, Fort Collins is where the Fukawi settled after they got chased out of Kansas by the F Troop. Chief Wild Eagle set up shop outside the Fort, manufacturing trinkets that the Fukawi shipped to Sargeant O'Rourke back at Fort Courage. Wild Eagle was a smart dude - remember that he was an Italian from Brooklyn - so he looked into local product that he might sell to the cavalry at Fort Courage. Low and behold, he met Cache La Poudre Moonalice, a Moonmama who specialized in herbal entertainment. Cache La Poudre opened up whole new worlds to the Fukawi, literally blowing their minds. We hope to carry on that tradition tonight.

According to Moonalice legend, the Cache La Poudre River has special properties. Where other rivers in Colorado produce beer, the Cache La Poudre produces hemp. The local Tribe keeps a low profile, but their crop is legendary. We are new to the area, so your guidance would be much appreciated.

According to Moonalice legend, today is International Women's Day. How many of you here consider yourself to be International Women? The tribe is a matriarchy. It's not just that the Moonalice women are in charge, but they represent so much that is good in the tribe. From green thumbs to low tones, from smooth rolling to deep bong hits, Moonalice women set the standard. The boys here in the band have learned what we know from the women in our lives. So gentlemen, please put your arms around the Moonmama next to you and give her a big thank you kiss. Happy Women's Day!!!

According to Moonalice legend, today is Johnny Appleseed Day. We're not sure why. Johnny was born on September 26, 1774 and died on February 18, 1845. But March 11 is the day and we're here to celebrate it. Most people think Johnny walked along randomly dropping apple seeds across Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois. Not true. He planted orchards in every town, selling shares to the local townspeople. Most people think Johnny only planted Apples. Not true. When visiting white people, he planted apple trees. But when Johnny visited a Moonalice village in Fort Collins, CO, he planted the finest cannabis sativa. Mmm - good.