According to Moonalice legend, the first white man to settle Seattle was Arthur Denny, organizer of the Denny Party. In the 19th century, people didn't party the way they do now. Nope. They typically formed up with some guy whose name began with "D". Of all these parties, the Denny Party turned out best. The founded this city and nobody got hurt. Less successful was the Donner Party, where half the people got eaten by the other half. The least successful of all was the Donut Party, led by the team of Original Glazed Donut and his son Jelly. By the time the party ended, ALL of the Donuts had been eaten.

According to Moonalice legend, the Seattle area has been inhabited by humans for at least 4,000 years. No one knows when the Moonalice tribe showed up, but we know they first settled near Redmond, where they went about the business of inventing stuff. One of the early breakthroughs - about 3,000 years ago - was the first digital computer. It computed in base 5. It just so happens I brought one along with me.

According to Moonalice legend, the Moonalice tribe in these parts has a long tradition of invention. Soon after the digital computer, the pre-Seattle tribe came up with the digital roller, which allowed people to make doobies with their fingers. Another huge breakthrough was the invention of rain, which made agriculture possible. Somehow the local tribe has been able to keep a proprietary hold on that invention. Other major inventions include coffee, the crosswalk, the Start button, and Jimi Hendrix, but we'll leave those for a future visit to Seattle.

According to Moonalice legend, today is the 74th anniversary of the first Soap Box Derby. It would also be the birthday of Philo Farnsworth, the man who invented television, only to have the economic value stolen from him. Happy birthday also to Ginger Baker, Bill Clinton and Tipper Gore.